What do u think of my work???

There once lived a family, now this wasn’t just an ordinary family, they lived beside a volcano, this is a very dangerous place because the volcano that they lived next to was dormant this meant that it could erupt any time, but the family weren’t to worried because the last time the volcano erupted was in 1993 they where now in 2008,


There was a mum called Amanda and there was a dad called Danny, they had two children called Even and Elisia , Even was a boy of coarse and he was 14 years old, Elisia was 12 years old and was of coarse girl. One day Elisia and Even decided to go capping for two nights, they thought that it would be nice to give Amanda and Danny some time on there own, so they got there stuff ready, toothbrushes, clothes and you don’t want to no what they put in there suitcases, well ok I will tell you, the children’s where very active and they decided to pack a bar of chocolate, but they didn’t put a bar with rapping over the chocolate they just put some plain chocolate in with nothing rapped around it, so of course it would melt in the suitcase, but they never realised this. When they where ready, they went and said goodbye to Amanda and Danny and then went to get Mina and Abs there dogs. So then they went.


“This is going to be so much fun Elisia” said Even who was getting excited as he usually dose when he is on missions.


“Ow look here is a nice spot, it isn’t to far from home but it is not to close, Even are you listening”? said Elisia


“EVEN”


“ow sorry Elisia I was just looking at a rock” said Even


“Here let me have a look, ow my goodness, Even you know what this is”?


“Yes, I know Elisia, it is a lava rock” said Even


“But it is may be just a rock and there is nothing very special about that rock is there”? said Even


“Even you remember that we live near a volcano, and you remember that the volcano that we live next to is doormat”%26gt; said Elisia


“So what is your point”? said even


“What Even common, this rock is lava, and to prove it, here get me another rock, yes look at this one compare to the normal rock, can you see the difference” “Ok here I go, Even this rock has come from the volcano that we live next to, the eruption in 1993, this is the rock from then” said Elisia


“Wow so, you mean, you, WOW, what shall we do with it, I no how about we just keep it and we don’t tell mum and dad about it, so then they went and set up there camp, It was the evening at last. They both got into there Pjs and started going to sleep, it was then about the middle of the night and there was a massive rubble.


“EVEN, WAKE UP, OW WAKE UP EVEN” said Elisia in a panicking voice.


“AHHH ELISIA THE VOLCANO IS ERUPTINING AND WHY DOSE IT HAVE TO HAPPEN WHEN WE ARE CAPPING, WE HAVE TO GO BACK HOME” said Even screaming.


They ran out of the cap and then ran as fast as there legs could run and then arrived at home. Danny was already getting his shoes on ready to get them.


“Your both all right, ok now that we are all here we are going to have to evacuate, they then all ran to the car and drove off, taking the dogs with them of course, When they had been 15 miles away, they where homeless nowhere to stay the night. So they just slept the car.


When Even and Elisia woke up they found put that they where driving.


Then by amazing sight they saw that the volcano had erupted, they saw red lava coming dawn.


“I know that this sounds silly but we are going to buy a house over here, it is much more safer here, ok” said mum


“But mum where are we going to stay, because it doesn’t take one day to get a house it takes more then a couple of weeks” said dad


“Well just to say, you do remember that Gran offered us a home?” “don’t you see what I am saying, this is our home” said mum


And then all the children looked in front of there car,


“well it is better then being home-less and being near a dormant volcano.


Then they all went into there home and lived happily ever after.











THE END

What do u think of my work???
I prefer capping, as if they were going to cap the volcano, lol.





So brave.
Reply:Its camping! You should run a spell check on it as a good few mistakes there.
Reply:Very Good!!
Reply:Such talent
Reply:Great
Reply:You have put a lot of effort into this story. Read it through and check your spelling. (%26quot;coarse%26quot; should be %26quot;course%26quot;). I would go through and correct your punctuatiion but that is someting that you should do for yourself. Keep at writing stories and you will eventually produce a winner.


Best wishes.
Reply:It%26#039;s a nice work!





You have the drive to be a future novelist.





Correct grammar will come later, as you mature.





However, correct spelling can be done now. Sacrifice a little, read more often, and correct those mistakes.





Congratulations!





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